The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of action.
For starters, my student organization was celebrating their week. FCCLA has a nationally recognized week. We were late in the game and decided to do it last week.We donated the money to the crisis center, had a couple of parties, tie dyed... there's more but I can't remember.
Also, the majority of the days that week were for state standardized tests. I had the pleasure of administering to a group of kiddos that needed to be in a small group. And one of those kiddos is habitually the last student in the school to finish. I spent three days telling everyone to stay quiet for four hours straight.
This past week has been full of food and teacher appreciation. FCCLA was asked to cook a lunch and a breakfast. No problem. A teacher requested my room and resources to make punch for a "world class" famous so-and-so. A day later, one of his students asks me to provide snacks, refreshments, my classroom and elbow grease (to clean for him). I quickly told him off and he had his students do this. Uh, that's what his organization is for in the first place. NOT ME. Anyway, I heard some teachers saw the punch and helped themselves. And this teacher pitched a hissy and squirted some tears. Oh my.
Anyway... FCCLA went on to prepare and serve the teacher luncheon. I had the smart plan to create a two page time table to make sure that everything went smoothly. And it did. The following day, FCCLA made pizza (and delivered it) to the class who donated the most shoes benefiting the crisis center. The kiddos also helped make pancakes and bacon for the teacher breakfast. They served it this morning.
Another thing that FCCLA and foods class did this week was to organize all the lab equipment and get rid of the old stuff that we don't use. I've been a huge bitch about the labs - making the kids use bleach on all surfaces, putting everything away where it's supposed to go. There's an enormous insect infestation and the only way I can figure eradicating it is to clean like nobody's business.
On top of all this, I was out of my medication. So I was even more stressed and angry. But I finally got to see my doctor. He emailed my prescription to the pharmacy. I went to pick it up and they said they had to have it verified by the doctor (hello, they sent it to you!) and to see if insurance will pay for it. It could take up to 3 days to fill it. I basically flipped out and hauled ass back to the doctor for a box of samples. I was really lucky too because the nurse was about to leave. All I have to say about that is that my insurance had better pay for this or I'm shoving a couch through someones throat.
And then there's Ivy. She's finally learned how to roll over. She mostly flips from back to tummy and just learned tummy to back. But when I put her to bed, it's on her side. Sometime in the middle of the night, she'll roll onto her stomach and wake up. We thought that since she always cries while on her tummy that she'd want to be on her back or side. We would roll her back over and within 5 minutes, she'd be back on her tummy whining. All. Night. Long. And we wouldn't get any sleep. Well, last night I had it up to my eyeballs with everything (above) and said screw it. I'm not rolling her back over. She can cry it. Not two minutes later, all sound stopped. She'd fallen asleep on her stomach and she didn't get up until around 6 am this morning. Moral of the story: she needed to be left the eff alone. Here's to hoping this is what she really wants and a good night's sleep for all of us.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Internal Debate
I'm debating whether or not I should write about some drama. I guess the debate is over since I'm putting it out there. It's important. It's pretty huge. It's not like I have a readership anyway. And it's not like it's a huge secret - it was broadcast over all the news stations. I want to be as delicate as possible with this. And it all ties together in the end. The beginning of it is that I just want to get it out of my head. So I don't have to think about it anymore. So I can move on to other things that need addressing. I feel this is going to be a long post.
My brother got married a couple years ago. They are not financially stable which necessitated the new couple's living with my parents.They decided to start their own family. My nephew was born in October 09 and had health issues that was nearly fatal. He had to undergo surgery to save his life. Obviously health insurance only covers so much and the bills were rolling in.
I contacted my parents asking if they'd like to come visit for Easter and was told that there had just been too much happening. They wouldn't be able to make the trip. Understandable. One of the things was that my sister-in-law had been robbed while making deposits for the company she worked for. She quit the job because she knew they'd fire her anyway. Her parents got mad at her and took her car. Begs the question, why would parents of an adult take an automobile from their child when they quit a job? How will that person find another job? And more questions rise with that one situation.
A week goes by and I hear that she was not robbed at all. She stole the money, lied about it, then confessed and was arrested. A big question that went off in my head was "WHY?"
I knew the answers already:
So it got me to thinking... Were I in her position, would I do what she did? I don't know. I'm sure I would consider it and come close to doing it. All I can say now is that their family is now put into an even worse situation. She stole a lot of money from a large corporation. And is going to prison. What company would hire her after that? It will be extremely difficult. So what is my position? She was trying to help her family, but how she did it (tried to do it) was pretty stupid. Do I hate her? No. Am I ashamed and disappointed? Yes. I'm shocked and probably still in the denial stage. I still can't believe it's happening to my family. Will I support her? Yes. I still love her. I wish she had the resources I have. But a time machine doesn't exist.
In all honesty, I think I've caught myself before getting anywhere near this route. I've suffered with depression and was on medication for about 3 years. I managed to wean myself from the pills and went on to lead a perfectly symptom free life for about 4 years. Then I got pregnant and started to worry... would I end up dealing with postpartum depression because of my history?
I have been feeling more and more pessimistic, angry, and hopeless. I haven't been sleeping well and have been skipping meals. My outlook on life has dwindled. I'm a type-a personality and I've become increasingly stressed with work and this family issue. And I had been having some suicidal thoughts. So I decided to make the call. I talked to my doctor and I am back on some medication. I am not thrilled with this. I don't really remember my life on previous medication. It was a terrible time in my life. But I'm doing what I have to do to keep my family strong and together. I'm doing what I have to do for my sanity and myself. Now, If I could take care of the other issues I am facing, everything would be just great. But that's a completely different story.
I am not proud that I am in the pits of hell once again. I'm not writing about this for personal attention. I'm writing this to show people that postpartum depression is real. It causes rational, good people to think/do irrational, stupid things. PPD is damaging. And here I leave you with the public service announcement that you should get yourself checked or talk to someone if you think you may have PPD or depression in general.
More information:
Women's Health - Depression During and After Pregnancy
Postpartum.net
My brother got married a couple years ago. They are not financially stable which necessitated the new couple's living with my parents.They decided to start their own family. My nephew was born in October 09 and had health issues that was nearly fatal. He had to undergo surgery to save his life. Obviously health insurance only covers so much and the bills were rolling in.
I contacted my parents asking if they'd like to come visit for Easter and was told that there had just been too much happening. They wouldn't be able to make the trip. Understandable. One of the things was that my sister-in-law had been robbed while making deposits for the company she worked for. She quit the job because she knew they'd fire her anyway. Her parents got mad at her and took her car. Begs the question, why would parents of an adult take an automobile from their child when they quit a job? How will that person find another job? And more questions rise with that one situation.
A week goes by and I hear that she was not robbed at all. She stole the money, lied about it, then confessed and was arrested. A big question that went off in my head was "WHY?"
I knew the answers already:
- They aren't financially stable
- The baby's medical bills
- Handling a large company's money sure is tempting
- Postpartum Depression
So it got me to thinking... Were I in her position, would I do what she did? I don't know. I'm sure I would consider it and come close to doing it. All I can say now is that their family is now put into an even worse situation. She stole a lot of money from a large corporation. And is going to prison. What company would hire her after that? It will be extremely difficult. So what is my position? She was trying to help her family, but how she did it (tried to do it) was pretty stupid. Do I hate her? No. Am I ashamed and disappointed? Yes. I'm shocked and probably still in the denial stage. I still can't believe it's happening to my family. Will I support her? Yes. I still love her. I wish she had the resources I have. But a time machine doesn't exist.
In all honesty, I think I've caught myself before getting anywhere near this route. I've suffered with depression and was on medication for about 3 years. I managed to wean myself from the pills and went on to lead a perfectly symptom free life for about 4 years. Then I got pregnant and started to worry... would I end up dealing with postpartum depression because of my history?
I have been feeling more and more pessimistic, angry, and hopeless. I haven't been sleeping well and have been skipping meals. My outlook on life has dwindled. I'm a type-a personality and I've become increasingly stressed with work and this family issue. And I had been having some suicidal thoughts. So I decided to make the call. I talked to my doctor and I am back on some medication. I am not thrilled with this. I don't really remember my life on previous medication. It was a terrible time in my life. But I'm doing what I have to do to keep my family strong and together. I'm doing what I have to do for my sanity and myself. Now, If I could take care of the other issues I am facing, everything would be just great. But that's a completely different story.
I am not proud that I am in the pits of hell once again. I'm not writing about this for personal attention. I'm writing this to show people that postpartum depression is real. It causes rational, good people to think/do irrational, stupid things. PPD is damaging. And here I leave you with the public service announcement that you should get yourself checked or talk to someone if you think you may have PPD or depression in general.
More information:
Women's Health - Depression During and After Pregnancy
Postpartum.net
Saturday, April 17, 2010
It's Saturday
On my Livejournal account, I used to write posts called "Saturday Suggestions." Basically a roundup of things that I liked, stumbled on (thanks to StumbleUpon) or did and wanted to share with my friends. I think I may start that here - or something similar. The Saturday Suggestions categories I had were ... Links, Books, Movies, Music, and Food.
I think for today, I'm going to just collect and showcase a few links.
First, this family mail center is a really sweet idea. It kindof reminds me of lunch box notes. A story. One of my students carries a lunch box to school. She's in 10th grade so it's a bit rare at that age. It is awesome though. Her mom makes her lunch and leaves her some amazing notes. We let her borrow "Office Space." There is this one scene and I said something about it or sang the song. Anyway, her mom left her a note that said "...it feels good to be a gangster."
The only other thing I can come up with right now is this. The second news article for FCCLA. I'm so proud of my kiddos!!
Since Ryan wants to scout some locations to photograph seniors, I need to get dressed. I'm a "model" today. Maybe some photographic evidence later.
I think for today, I'm going to just collect and showcase a few links.
First, this family mail center is a really sweet idea. It kindof reminds me of lunch box notes. A story. One of my students carries a lunch box to school. She's in 10th grade so it's a bit rare at that age. It is awesome though. Her mom makes her lunch and leaves her some amazing notes. We let her borrow "Office Space." There is this one scene and I said something about it or sang the song. Anyway, her mom left her a note that said "...it feels good to be a gangster."
The only other thing I can come up with right now is this. The second news article for FCCLA. I'm so proud of my kiddos!!
Since Ryan wants to scout some locations to photograph seniors, I need to get dressed. I'm a "model" today. Maybe some photographic evidence later.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Intentions
I originally intended this blog to be All Ivy All the Time! However, it isn't always about Ivy, is it?
Today, my student organization rounded up our collection of donated shoes, lined them up at the Hunt County Courthouse and walked around said courthouse (with FCCLA in the lead!). All in the name for raising awareness for child abuse. So far, we've collected 118 pairs of shoes. I haven't asked for the donations from the rest of the school (work). We're planning on donating the rest of the shoes next week - along with a monetary donation for the Crisis Center of Northeast Texas.
I was extremely surprised that my organization was the only one in attendance. The FCCLA of ISD the courthouse is located in participated in the drive as well, but didn't show up. We'll be featured in the paper again. After we got back to the school, I got a phone call from someone in the city who wanted to donate her shoes to us because she saw the first article. Amazing!!
Here's the link to the first article.
Today, my student organization rounded up our collection of donated shoes, lined them up at the Hunt County Courthouse and walked around said courthouse (with FCCLA in the lead!). All in the name for raising awareness for child abuse. So far, we've collected 118 pairs of shoes. I haven't asked for the donations from the rest of the school (work). We're planning on donating the rest of the shoes next week - along with a monetary donation for the Crisis Center of Northeast Texas.
I was extremely surprised that my organization was the only one in attendance. The FCCLA of ISD the courthouse is located in participated in the drive as well, but didn't show up. We'll be featured in the paper again. After we got back to the school, I got a phone call from someone in the city who wanted to donate her shoes to us because she saw the first article. Amazing!!
Here's the link to the first article.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Photography and Business
Ryan finally decided that he should garner some business as a photographer. Something to bring a little more money into the home. Last week, we went to the Arboretum to get some test shots to get different ideas for backdrops and set-ups. And he booked and shot senior portraits today for one of his students. Sadly, he won't be making a profit this time around. But at least it's a start.
Ivy and I did tag along today. I think that it is helpful for someone like me to be there adjusting the small things and suggesting poses and other ideas. Knowing me, I'd be all nit-picky about that section of hair that was pointing in a different direction than the rest or bunched up clothes. So, I made sure to get all the small details to make sure her shots were perfect. You need a girl for that kind of stuff. Family business in the making?
I hope Ivy finds a skill or talent that she loves to do that will give her some kind of rewards in life. Ryan has Photography and he's just now starting out with his own business. I have my crafts but I have yet to really make a business out of it because I'm pretty lazy and I don't have much time anyway. Which brings me to being a stay-at-home mom. I really wish I could do that. Quit work so I could have the time to take care of Ivy and our home and to craft and sell. My head is so full of ideas and things I want to make and I can't even start on projects!
Ivy and I did tag along today. I think that it is helpful for someone like me to be there adjusting the small things and suggesting poses and other ideas. Knowing me, I'd be all nit-picky about that section of hair that was pointing in a different direction than the rest or bunched up clothes. So, I made sure to get all the small details to make sure her shots were perfect. You need a girl for that kind of stuff. Family business in the making?
I hope Ivy finds a skill or talent that she loves to do that will give her some kind of rewards in life. Ryan has Photography and he's just now starting out with his own business. I have my crafts but I have yet to really make a business out of it because I'm pretty lazy and I don't have much time anyway. Which brings me to being a stay-at-home mom. I really wish I could do that. Quit work so I could have the time to take care of Ivy and our home and to craft and sell. My head is so full of ideas and things I want to make and I can't even start on projects!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Life's Ups and Downs
While things are going a bit crazy (read: I'd rather say a lot of no-no words here, but I'm trying to control myself) at work and with my family, I can always look to Ivy to brighten my mood.
Her smiles when we pick her up from the sitter. Oh those big ones melt my heart!
The funny noises she makes (like a radio between channels) are so funny!
And tonight, while I was rocking her, she put her free hand on my chin, cheek, lips, nose. Just feeling and touching and smoothing.
What was I so upset about?
Her smiles when we pick her up from the sitter. Oh those big ones melt my heart!
The funny noises she makes (like a radio between channels) are so funny!
And tonight, while I was rocking her, she put her free hand on my chin, cheek, lips, nose. Just feeling and touching and smoothing.
What was I so upset about?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Bathtime fun!
I'm so thrilled Ivy likes to take baths. Usually, she is calm as a cucumber while bathing. Then once her booty hits the counter (towel underneath!), she starts wailing. "Put me back in!!!"
We graduated her bathtub a few days ago from the newborn sling thingy to no sling. It took a little to get used to but now... watch out! She thoroughly enjoyed kicking and splashing. And while we were drying her off, she was just fine. No wailing.
We graduated her bathtub a few days ago from the newborn sling thingy to no sling. It took a little to get used to but now... watch out! She thoroughly enjoyed kicking and splashing. And while we were drying her off, she was just fine. No wailing.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Spring Pictures
We've been taking quite a bit of photos of/with Ivy lately. Like I mentioned in my last post, we took the babe to the easter bunny. Afterward, we scoped out the Dallas Arboretum so Ryan could test some lenses with the camera and find some shooting locations.
Here comes the fun!
Oh red-headed babies. They look exceptional with green. I really wish my hand wasn't in the picture. Otherwise it'd be fantastic.
More pictures behind the cut.
Here comes the fun!
Oh red-headed babies. They look exceptional with green. I really wish my hand wasn't in the picture. Otherwise it'd be fantastic.
More pictures behind the cut.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter!
While she is sleeping... I may as well write about her. It is Easter Sunday today. Ivy only 4 months old but it's still a kid's holiday. Easter bunny. Easter eggs. Easter basket. Eggcetera!
Yesterday, we took her to the local (junk) mall and had her picture done with the Easter bunny. Friday, we had a sitter over. When I picked her up, I took her to the Walmarks to pick up stuff for Ivy's first Easter basket. I wasn't too pleased. First off with the selection of stuff for the youngest crowd (nothing). Second, with the basket. I wanted something that would be timeless and usable for the future (plastic, neon, uuuuuuugly!). So I got a white wicker mini laundry basket. I need to locate one with a handle for possibly next year.
Yesterday, we also went to the Dallas Arboretum. Ryan wanted to take pictures for a photo shoot for a senior portrait. We got some good pictures of Ivy too. While we were out, I also picked up some more things for Ivy's basket.
Today. No big hooplah. We'll take a picture of Ivy with her basket. We boiled and dyed a few eggs for her basket too. Lunch was fried chicken (boy do I miss my frying pan) from the Walmarks and potato salad.
Yesterday, we took her to the local (junk) mall and had her picture done with the Easter bunny. Friday, we had a sitter over. When I picked her up, I took her to the Walmarks to pick up stuff for Ivy's first Easter basket. I wasn't too pleased. First off with the selection of stuff for the youngest crowd (nothing). Second, with the basket. I wanted something that would be timeless and usable for the future (plastic, neon, uuuuuuugly!). So I got a white wicker mini laundry basket. I need to locate one with a handle for possibly next year.
Yesterday, we also went to the Dallas Arboretum. Ryan wanted to take pictures for a photo shoot for a senior portrait. We got some good pictures of Ivy too. While we were out, I also picked up some more things for Ivy's basket.
Today. No big hooplah. We'll take a picture of Ivy with her basket. We boiled and dyed a few eggs for her basket too. Lunch was fried chicken (boy do I miss my frying pan) from the Walmarks and potato salad.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Yesterday and Today.
Yesterday, I took Ivy (plus a babysitter) to letterbox since Ryan was working. The video from yesterday is something we do frequently. Not the video - but gossiping. I love it.
Today we should be going to picnic at White Rock Lake and enjoy some Scottish culture. Today is Tartan Day and the Scottish Society of Dallas is having a Ceilidh.
Today we should be going to picnic at White Rock Lake and enjoy some Scottish culture. Today is Tartan Day and the Scottish Society of Dallas is having a Ceilidh.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Ivy Update - 4 months
Height 23.5 inches
Weight 12lbs 5oz
Eating: formula and rice cereal in her bottle.
Sleeping habits: Down between 8 & 9pm, waking up to need pacifier and no more night feedings.
Activities: laughing, smiling, 'talking,' taking in the arts (museum trips, movies, parades, cultural festivals), dining out and shopping.
Next weekend: Letterboxing! Child needs a STAMP!!!
Weight 12lbs 5oz
Eating: formula and rice cereal in her bottle.
Sleeping habits: Down between 8 & 9pm, waking up to need pacifier and no more night feedings.
Activities: laughing, smiling, 'talking,' taking in the arts (museum trips, movies, parades, cultural festivals), dining out and shopping.
Next weekend: Letterboxing! Child needs a STAMP!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The future
Camping & letterboxing
Trips to zoos, museums and parks
Ballet &/or other dance
Girl scouts, 4-H
Sleepovers and slumber parties
Birthday parties
Playing "Barbies" "Dress-up" and/or "Cars"
Sports
Whatever she wants to do.
Trips to zoos, museums and parks
Ballet &/or other dance
Girl scouts, 4-H
Sleepovers and slumber parties
Birthday parties
Playing "Barbies" "Dress-up" and/or "Cars"
Sports
Whatever she wants to do.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Sunday, December 27, 2009
One Month
Ivy had her first Christmas! She got some money, toys, books and clothes. I cannot wait for her to be older and really enjoy the holiday. She's been able to track us and hold eye contact with us. I weighed her yesterday and I think she is 7.5 pounds but the scale is off - so who really knows. She's up to 4 ounces of formula now - however, she doesn't always finish that. Sleeping is a crap shoot thought. One night she's out like a light all night, the next night will be sleepless. Last night was one of those nights. I think it was mostly because she was really gassy. We've set up a routine: Bath if needed, diaper change, bottle, burp then lights out and it's worked - of course it's only been a couple days.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Growing Girl!
Yesterday marked Ivy's 3rd week of life. Yesterday was also Ivy's due date. I cannot imagine still being pregnant.
She is doing wonderfully. She still sleeps quite a bit during the day but is beginning to have more and longer waking moments. She is now eating 3 ounces at pretty much every feeding. We haven't had her weighed since her last appointment, but I'm willing to guess she's 7 lbs and maybe 8 ounces. She makes the most wonderful faces and noises - sometimes resembling smiling and laughing.
I always thought that I'd be happy going back to work. While I'm tired of being in the apartment, I do not want to leave my child with someone else to care for. Oh if only we had the money.
She is doing wonderfully. She still sleeps quite a bit during the day but is beginning to have more and longer waking moments. She is now eating 3 ounces at pretty much every feeding. We haven't had her weighed since her last appointment, but I'm willing to guess she's 7 lbs and maybe 8 ounces. She makes the most wonderful faces and noises - sometimes resembling smiling and laughing.
I always thought that I'd be happy going back to work. While I'm tired of being in the apartment, I do not want to leave my child with someone else to care for. Oh if only we had the money.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Some People.
I hate people sometimes.
Okay. So we had quite a bit of success with breastfeeding after coming home and having trouble because of formula feeding and not latching on. Found a solution and whammo. Everything was working.
Then the biliruben spiked. And pedi said to supplement after breastfeeding. Which disheartened me. Ivy started fighting me again because the bottle is easier. So we'll have to overcome this again. Do-able.
We went to the hospital for another biliruben screen. While there it was time for her to nurse. I asked for a place to go and was told to go back to the chapel. No problem - I head on back. And then I get stopped in my tracks. "NO BABIES PAST THE LOBBY!" Gnuh! Yes, I'm aware of that. Find somewhere for me then. Good luck.
So they start saying staff lounge - oh but men! Oh how about the ladies room. We'll get you a chair and pillow. Me = (o_O)?? So they start pulling a huge chair and I was all: Uh, no way. Forget it. Nevermind. And they kept bugging me about it as I fixed her an effing bottle saying that it's a clean bathroom. HELLO! Would YOU eat in a bathroom? I'm certainly not going to feed my child in a bathroom. I wasn't born and raised in Wal-Mart. So, instead Ryan feeds Ivy. And THEN some heffer comes up to me and says "you can go in the chapel now." I scoffed her off.
Right. I'm going in the chapel now, after the crap you fools pulled about no babies and trying to shove me in a bathroom AFTER she's been fed. Because that makes all the sense in the world. But thank you for making it that much harder to get my kid to latch on.
Oh and we have to be back there again tomorrow.
Okay. So we had quite a bit of success with breastfeeding after coming home and having trouble because of formula feeding and not latching on. Found a solution and whammo. Everything was working.
Then the biliruben spiked. And pedi said to supplement after breastfeeding. Which disheartened me. Ivy started fighting me again because the bottle is easier. So we'll have to overcome this again. Do-able.
We went to the hospital for another biliruben screen. While there it was time for her to nurse. I asked for a place to go and was told to go back to the chapel. No problem - I head on back. And then I get stopped in my tracks. "NO BABIES PAST THE LOBBY!" Gnuh! Yes, I'm aware of that. Find somewhere for me then. Good luck.
So they start saying staff lounge - oh but men! Oh how about the ladies room. We'll get you a chair and pillow. Me = (o_O)?? So they start pulling a huge chair and I was all: Uh, no way. Forget it. Nevermind. And they kept bugging me about it as I fixed her an effing bottle saying that it's a clean bathroom. HELLO! Would YOU eat in a bathroom? I'm certainly not going to feed my child in a bathroom. I wasn't born and raised in Wal-Mart. So, instead Ryan feeds Ivy. And THEN some heffer comes up to me and says "you can go in the chapel now." I scoffed her off.
Right. I'm going in the chapel now, after the crap you fools pulled about no babies and trying to shove me in a bathroom AFTER she's been fed. Because that makes all the sense in the world. But thank you for making it that much harder to get my kid to latch on.
Oh and we have to be back there again tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Update: Jaundice
Ivy was born a little jaundiced -nothing major- and we were told to get her into some indirect sunlight over the weekend. Well, it's been cloudy the whole time as a stupid front is making its way in and we attempted to drive her around through a partly cloudy day. We would have done window light but the angle is so extreme that there was never any light coming directly in.
So she had her first pedi appointment today which went pretty well.We were sent to the hospital for a total & direct lab on her biliruben levels today. Okay, done. By the time we got home, the pedi's office called saying that her count went up significantly. We have to supplement with formula after every nursing. We go back tomorrow morning for another bili count and if we have to, we can get her started on light/photo therapy sooner.
I just absolutely LOATHE that we have to bottle feed her and use formula. It makes me feel like I can't provide what she needs or provide enough for her. When she wasn't latching on, she had to be supplemented and I HATED that - knowing someone else was feeding her, getting to bond with her and I couldn't at all.
So she had her first pedi appointment today which went pretty well.We were sent to the hospital for a total & direct lab on her biliruben levels today. Okay, done. By the time we got home, the pedi's office called saying that her count went up significantly. We have to supplement with formula after every nursing. We go back tomorrow morning for another bili count and if we have to, we can get her started on light/photo therapy sooner.
I just absolutely LOATHE that we have to bottle feed her and use formula. It makes me feel like I can't provide what she needs or provide enough for her. When she wasn't latching on, she had to be supplemented and I HATED that - knowing someone else was feeding her, getting to bond with her and I couldn't at all.
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