Another (the last) End of Year/Year in Review Post

Roll your eyes. Enjoy that feeling. This is the last one. I think.

* In 2012, I gained (another family member - Gabe is my new nephew)

* I lost (Aunt Carol - we've been over this before)

* I stopped (caring)

* I started (taking medication again)

* I was hugely satisfied by (afore mentioned medication - and food)

* And frustrated by (people, myself)

* I am so embarrassed that (I acted the way I did. It wasn't necessary.)

* Once again, I (rolled over and took it)

* Once again, I did not (use my time wisely)

* The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is (maybe my weight)

* The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is (I'm back on medication - broken record much?)

* I loved spending time (in the kitchen, in front of the camera, snuggling Ivy)

* Why did I spend even two minutes (worrying)

* I should have spent more time with (family)

* I regret buying (the car. I think we could've managed without it. It would have been difficult, but it would've saved us a lot of money)

* I will never regret buying (personal beautification items) even though with that money I could have (saved it)

* I (ate) way too much.

* I didn’t (read) enough.

* (The kids) drove me crazy.

* Was/were (peoples' clothing choices) crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

* The most relaxing place I went was (bed/bath)

* I feel so relaxed when I (have time to nap and nothing else to do.)

* Why did I go to (see that movie? I could've done without that.)

* The best thing I did for someone else was (given them my time or resources)

* The best thing I did for myself was (take time for myself)

* The best thing someone did for me was (hug me. Hugs are the best. I love hugs.)

* The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is (my job - I can always improve)

Crack Potatoes

Another successful Pinterest completed

Crack Potatoes or Loaded Potato Casserole

2 (16oz) containers sour cream
2 cups cheddar cheese, shredded
2 (3oz) bags real bacon bits
2 packages Ranch Dip mix
1 large (28 - 30oz) bag frozen hash brown potatoes - shredded kind

Combine first 4 ingredients, mix in hash browns. Spread into a 9x13 pan. Bake at 400 for 45-60 minutes.

I thought the mixture ratio to potatoes would be too much, but it wasn't. The hash browns do need to be thawed. I added extra cheese on to and let it bake a wee bit longer. I am certain this can be halved as well.

And yum. Yum yum yum.

End of Year Survey

What did you do in 2012 that you have never done before?

Stage kittened. I had a lot of fun that evening. My dance teacher asked me to and I had volunteered a long time before hand. I guess this is/was the closest I will ever get to performing. It was a new view of the scene - backstage.

Did you keep all of last years resolutions?

No? I don't even know what they were. Come to think of it, I don't think made any. It's always the same thing anyway. Be more ladylike. Be a more "well-rounded" individual. Do more good with my time instead of waste it. Exercise. Save money. I guess one worked. I did my nails more often.

Have you any resolutions for next year?

I guess the same as every year… better myself, manage money, etc. Take care of myself. Do what I like to do.

What would you like to have in 2013 that you didn’t have in 2012?

I would love to have a house. But I don't think that'll happen. Even though our income has doubled, our savings has dwindled due to the need to purchase a new vehicle and pay for child care.

What date in 2012 will remain etched in your memory?

November 21 - Ivy fell into the pool and I save her life.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I honestly feel that I did not achieve anything this year.

What was your biggest failure?

All of my lows. Not keeping it together. Anxiety and depression hit hard this year.

Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Not really. Just stress related issues.

What was the best thing you bought?

Bath products. A ton of it! And a lot of it on sale.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

My own

Where did most of your money go?

Food, work, nail polish

What did you get really really really excited about?

YouTube. Watching YouTubers and trying to be one.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying and wasting time

How will you be spending Christmas?

We decided to spend Christmas in the hometown this year.

Which bloggers did you meet for the first time?

Didn't meet anyone.

Did you fall in love in 2012?

Besides Ryan and Ivy? I really like a rat named Truffles.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope

What was/were the best books you read?

Divergent and Insurgent by Veronica Roth. I thought I had read more books this year. Hm.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Purity Ring and some old music.

What did you want and get?

What I wanted

What did you want and not get?

Other things I wanted

What was your favorite film this year?

For actually watching? "Brave" and "Django Unchained"

What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I turned 32. I had a doctor's visit. I don't remember anything else.

What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?

If I had gotten back on my meds a long time ago

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

So freaking relaxed (read=lazy). The last half of work (Jan-June), we wore a lot of blue jeans. The first half of the new work year (Aug-Dec), I mostly wore blue jeans.

What/Who kept you sane?

Medication which is a new addition.

Which celebrity did you fancy the most?

Joseph Gordon Levit - he's done a lot of good movies lately

Which political issue stirred you the most?

Presidential election, school shooting

Who did you miss?

Aunt Carol. She passed away in January. I (we all) still miss her terribly. She always led the children's Christmas songs at the family reunion/Christmas party. 

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?

Don't take anyone for granted, not even myself.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year…

Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine

"I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart"

Actually, the whole song really sums up my year. A reminder the let things go and just effing live. Because I need to.

To Edit? Or to Not Edit?

That's my question.
Today, we saw Django Unchained. And I'll be Dang-o. That movie was awesome. Quentin Tarantino did not disappoint.

It's a story of a slave turned freed man slash bounty hunter searching to find his wife. And he delivers justice/revenge along the way.

And this is why I'm not a writer. My brain has just shut off. I don't know what else to say about this movie. This is my favorite of the year. Yes, I had to hide my eyes at one point because it was just so gory. There were quite a few lol moments. My biggest surprise was Christoph Waltz. His character was a very compassionate man. Al also really loved the sountrack. Tarantino's films always have a great variety of songs that seem to be almost a carefully thought out mix tape. On point!

I highly recommend Django. Go see it.

Merry Christmas!

Another year has come and gone. Well, it's nearly gone anyway.So I present to you A Summation of My Year:2012. Are you ready? It's rather quick. But before that, some holiday chit chat!

Ivy grasped the concept of Christmas this year - being three and all so we got to have a bit of fun! We took her to see Christmas lights. We did a very basic Elf on the Shelf. She refused to see Santa for a photo-op. She didn't do a real letter to Santa. But she did leave out milk and cookies and was hoping to see Santa when she woke up. She was rather upset with that but was again thrilled when she realized he left her something. She really enjoyed opening all of her gifts this year!

2012 in Review

This year was filled with ups and downs. But a couple of things were somewhat constant throughout the year: We attended several burlesque shows and movies and I regularly attended dance/fitness classes. I also noticed a cycle with my moods and once it got pretty bad, I went back to the doctor for some much needed assistance.

January - Beloved Aunt Carol died

February - Got my CHL, Dallas Burlesque Festival

March - I think we bought our guns this month, Spring break, hometown visit

April -  Became interested in vlogs and started vlogging, hometown visit for Easter, tornado

May - Got transferred to another school, became interested in makeup

June - Graduations, annual girls beach weekend, became a coffee drinker, San Antonio, another death in the family

July - Celebrated my birthday, new nephew, hometown visit x2, got a new car

August - Started working at the middle school, Ryan started his new job and celebrated his birthday

September - Anxiety on high alert

October - Crafting and costume making, Halloween, high hits of depression

November - Presidential election, stage kittened, Ivy nearly drowned, Ivy turned 3, hometown visit, back on head meds, Thanksgiving

December - Became good friends with Truffles the rat, school shooting, end of the world, hometown visit, Christmas

A lot of highs and lows. I'm ready to try again for 2013. I hope to make things better.

I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas holiday!

12 in '12

Last year, I did an 11 in '11 blog post. Since it's coming up on "that time of the year" again, I decided to see if I could find one for this year. I will probably do other posts similar to this in the next few days. I found this year's version of 11 in '11. And it is appropriately named 12 in '12.

Via miss-kindergarten.com

This year's theme is 12 Favorites! 

12. Favorite movie you watched: I took my mom to see Breaking Dawn part 2. It wasn't a good movie. It was awful. The experience was why I say it's my favorite. I took my mom on a date. She needed some time for herself. She takes care of her grandson and was so exhausted (she is exhausted every day, actually). We had dinner at a local sushi restaurant. She had gift certificates for the theater so we got in for free even though I intended on paying.  

11. Favorite TV series: Parenthood. I went through two seasons in about a month on Netflix and started the current season. It is interesting to see all the dynamics of that family and to see how the characters are written. I still like Grey's Anatomy too. I've been watching since season 2. We don't have cable and the first season was on when I was going to college in Denton. We could get that channel in with the antenna and it was fuzzy. But I got hooked.

10. Favorite restaurant: Mua Sushi - Every time Ivy is out of town, I make a point to go there. I just love sushi. I always get a shrimp tempura roll (at any sushi place really) on soy paper and they're usually topped with crab meat and spicy mayo. The one at mua has cream cheese in it too.

9. Favorite new thing you tried: Fortune Cookie Soap. I had been watching vlogs that reviewed their products so I got a sample box and had been waiting for their subscription service to open up. I got my first real subscription box in and I love everything! I also tried vlogging. I wouldn't say I've given up - I just don't have much time to sit and edit hours of videos. But I want to continue!

8. Favorite gift you got: Ryan gifted me an amazing personalized date photo. He took photographs of the numbers of Ivy's birthday and all the photos were significant to our life. Her first home, her doctor's address, her birthday balloon... It was so touching and it is very beautiful. I cried when he was explaining it. And then I don't know if you'd call it a gift but we got MacBook Pro's at work. All teachers got one. I haven't touched my laptop at home and I loathe booting up my laptop at work. They're just so clunky! 

7. Favorite thing you pinned: Mostly crafts. I've made quite a few crafts because of Pinterest. Christmas ornaments, recycled t-shirts, some food/recipes. Makes me think that I should create a board of things I've pinned that I made/did/whatevered.

6. Favorite blog post: I'm not going to lie, I don't read many blogs. So I'm going to do this... Favorite vlog. Well, favorite vlogger: MyHousewifeLife. She has two other channels and I'm subscribed to them all.

5. Best accomplishment: I do not feel like I have accomplished anything this year. And this is sad to say. I don't think I have done anything noteworthy that I worked for. If anyone could let me know otherwise, I'd be appreciative. 

4. Favorite picture: I have a lot of photos I love this year. Photos filled with color, smiles, accomplishments, sentimental moments. But this one trumps them all. I cannot get over this sweet sleeping face. Sure, it was my pillow and I was basically kicked out of the bed. But her sleeping is always so nice to see. Everything is calm and quiet. She is peacefully resting. She is warm and she smells wonderful. I see the newborn and infant in this face. Time rewinds even though she is growing so fast. This picture makes those days last a little bit longer.

3. Favorite memory: Would you believe it's about Ivy? We took her Fossil Rim to drive through the "safari" again at the end of the summer. Is this a yearly tradition now? Who knows. She absolutely loved seeing all the animals up close. But there was one animal that surprised her. Maybe it was sticking it's head in the car or was next to the car. But all of a sudden we heard her scream "JEEZUSS!!" Not something we normally say so of course we had to laugh until we cried. I still get tickled when I think about it.

2. Goal for 2013: Get better. Enough said.

1. One Little Word: Patience. For myself. For others. For my goals. I'm getting help with that. I want to improve.

Hopes and Wishes

Some days, like today, I'm more lazy than I normally am. Or running behind. Or both. I skipped out on my shower this morning. And I neglected to make myself a lunch. I have something that I can eat but it isn't any good.

It would be nice if there was some service at the school every day that takes teachers' lunch orders and goes and picks it up. Or businesses would have a representative that would deliver. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Last night or the night before, I sang some songs to get Ivy to calm down and go to sleep. I pulled out one of the lullabies my mother passed down to me. She heard it from her grandmother. It's an old song. And apparently, lullabies happen to be sad. I remember when I was young and hearing this song, it made me cry. And that's the exact same thing that happened with Ivy.

I'd heard three lyrics and one year, I found a 'new' or unfamiliar second lyric. So here's the lullaby.

Oh do you remember a long time ago poor babes in the wood, whose names I don't know, They were stolen away, on a bright sunny day. And left in the woods, I heard people say Among the trees, beneath the blue sky They picked bright flowers and watched the birds fly; Then on blackberries fed, and strawberries red, And when they were weary "We'll go home,' they said. When it was night, wo sad was their plight, The sun it went down, and the moon gave no light! They sobbed and they sighed and they bitterly cried Poor babes in the woods, they lay down and died. And when they were dead, the robins so red, took strawberry leaves and over them spread And sang them a song, the whole night long Poor babes in the wood, poor babes in the wood.

Slowly Cooking

Today is Menu Plan Monday! I know, we are all excited. With cooler (read: not colder) weather, we have wanted soup. Last week, it was cold. This week, it's significantly warmer than last week. And I've been cooking with my crock pot! Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it goes wrong.

Prep is easy. I've been prepping the crock pot dinners the night ahead. I peel, rinse and dice my potatoes, cover them in water and store in the fridge over night. Drain them before putting them in the crock. I set out the colander and the crock and put the dry ingredients in the colander. All I have to really do is strain, pour and stir.

Last week I made a baked potato soup. It was surprisingly delicious! The recipe is below. I'm also going to review the recipes.

But first, this week's MPM!

Sunday - Chicken fettuccine alfredo
Monday - Crock pot beef stew (recipe below)
Tuesday - Crock o leftovers!
Wednesday - Crock o leftovers!
Thursday - YOYO - I'm going to a work holiday party
Friday - Possibly chicken with couscous
Saturday - Possible leftovers ... it's time to clear out the fridge!


Today's adventure in crock-potting is beef stew. I picked up the following recipe from MyBiscuitsAreBurning

Ingredients

2 pounds beef stew meat, cut into 1 inch cubes

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1 clove garlic, minced

1 bay leaf

1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1 onion, chopped

1 1/2 cups beef broth

3 potatoes, diced

4 carrots, sliced

Directions 

Place meat in slow cooker. In a small bowl mix together the flour, salt, and pepper; pour over meat, and stir to coat meat with flour mixture. Stir in the garlic, bay leaf, paprika, Worcestershire sauce, onion, beef broth, potatoes, carrots. Cover, and cook on Low setting for 10 to 12 hours, or on High setting for 4 to 6 hours. 

Adapted from allrecipes.com

I think we had a bit too much of the beef. I got two packages at just over a pound each. I only used two large baking potatoes and I didn't have any room for the carrots. I also eliminated the onions as I don't like them. But everything else went in.

It turned out... okay. The liquid was a bit too 'brothy' for me. I think I would've liked it more if if the stew was thicker and more 'stewy'. Maybe next time, I will half the recipe. I think it also needed some more salt. 

Aaaand the baked potato soup from last week!

Crock Pot - Style Loaded Baked Potato Soup from Food.com

Ingredients:

6 large baking potatoes, peeled, cut in 1/2 -inch cubes

1 large onion, chopped

1 quart chicken broth

3 garlic cloves, minced (or pressed)

1/4 cup butter

2 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 cup cream or 1 cup half-and-half cream

1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

3 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

1 cup sour cream (optional)

8 slices bacon, fried & crumbled

cheese, for sprinkling

Directions:

Combine first seven ingredients in a large crock pot; cover and cook on HIGH for 4 hours or LOW for 8 hours (potato should be tender).

Mash mixture until potatoes are coarsely chopped and soupy is slightly thickened.

Stir in cream, cheese and chives.
Top with sour cream (if used), sprinkle with bacon and more cheese.

Completely easy! I thought all the broth still sitting there before mashing was unnecessary and took some out. Wrong! It actually ended up being pretty thick and I put some broth back in. But it was certainly yummy!

Oh, Rats!

I totally cannot stop thinking about this rat!

A couple of the science teachers have classroom animals. And there are students who take care of the animals during the day and over weekends. For some reason, one kiddo came by my room with a rabbit and it hasn't stopped since. It may have to do with the fact that I squeal and baby-talk because I love animals so much. 

The teacher who these little friends belong to had to just check with me the other day. Making sure the kids weren't telling stories. I told her that any animal is welcome and the kids ask me first and I am totally okay with it.

The other day, one kiddo brought this rat and I got to know her... "Truffles." The kids have started to bring in animals during my class (of course, I approve of it if it's an appropriate time). I have started to request Truffles. She is just the sweetest little animal I have ever come in contact with! I put her on my shoulder yesterday and she just hung out there for two classes! For one class, she was walking back and forth and tickling my neck - and avoiding all of the other hands that tried to reach for her ;). The second class period, she relaxed and fell asleep. When it was time for her to go back to the teacher, I held her in my hands and nosed her and she fell asleep in my hands too! Love it! Her little tail wrapped around my wrist and neck. If I could, I would totally take this little baby home.

A Pleasant Surprise

Where first?

After several ridiculous roller-coaster cycles of emotions, I noticed so much of a decline that my depression really hit me. I was constantly feeling anxious and angry - for no apparent reason. Lashing out at everyone. I lost 10 pounds because of the anxiety affecting my digestive system and appetite. And I had daily thoughts of suicide. After a panic/anxiety/asthma attack at work, I made the decision to go to the doctor. I don't like to rely on medications. Sometimes I feel that it is a cop-out. Why can't I do this on my own? But then I realized I probably needed it.

And my life has changed. It. Has. CHANGED. I've been back on my medication for about a month. We can all tell a difference. I'm happy. I don't yell at anyone. I rarely get angry - unless it is warranted. I have patience - a TON of it. The downside is that I notice I still have a low energy level. I'm tired. I go to bed early - I'm talking fall out on the couch at 8pm. I have dizzy spells too. Not quite as bad as the first week, but it's still there. I'm also having trouble with my memory but I've gotten The Lists going again to help out with that.

This is necessary.

And I think I am more productive too. Last night, I cooked a side for our dinner of leftover chicken. I prepped a crock pot soup that I made this morning. I also made an actual lunch for myself today too. I did the laundry, we made this week's menu, and went grocery shopping.

Here's a Menu Plan Monday!!

Sunday - Leftover Hot Wings with Smashed potatoes

Monday - Crock Pot Baked Potato Soup (recipe forthcoming if it's any good)

Tuesday - Leftover soup

Wednesday - Leftover soup

Thursday - Nachos

Friday - Fettuccine Alfredo

Saturday - Pizza

The Rest of my Thirty Days of Thankfullness

The first 12 are here.

13. Thankful for family and new additions.
14. Thankful for restored appetite and an early Thanksgiving lunch at work.
15. Thankful that the medication is working.
16. Thankful for excellent time spent with Ivy. Girl's day!
17. Thankful for a break from work.
18. Thankful to finally see my momma again!
19. Thankful for my child's health. I'm glad she is feeling so much better.
20. Thankful that I can help.
21. Thankful for my quick reflexes and my child's life.
22. Thankful for some yummy yummy food.
23. Thankful for a good book.
24. Thankful for my little girl and everyone involved with her birthday to make it such a special day for her!
25. Thankful to be back home. Not quite so thankful that the vacation is over.
26. Thankful for awesome coworkers who covered my classes for me so I could go home when I got sick.
27. Thankful that I can finally eat after two days.
28. Thankful for another holiday. I get to experience Christmas through the innocent, excited eyes of my three-year-old.
29. Thankful to work at a great school. We got new laptops - MacBook Pro!

30. The most important thankful... Saving the best for last. Family.
Ryan, my soulmate. We have learned so much from each other and grown together. I can't live my life without him.
Ivy, my precious character of a daughter. I never thought I would have her in my life. I can honestly say that my heart no longer beats in my chest, it runs around the living room making silly, bird-like noises with a wildly unkempt hairdo.
My parents and Ryan's parents who have taken care of us and brought us up to be the intelligent individuals we are today and who also take care of Ivy and are the greatest grandparents.
Our brothers and all of extended family members who have influenced our pasts and continue to grace us for our present and future.