Let them eat cake

This cake will kill you. This cake will kill me. Happy birthday America! You can blame this cake for the deaths of your citizens.

I was going to vlog this. Then I just got so into making it that I forgot what I was doing. My husband, and I think my mom, asked me about this cake. So I decided to make it again.

Back Story
I (read: we) moved away from home. I got hooked on a little-known blog called The Pioneer Woman. This was when there was no differentiation of her posts (no "Pioneer Woman Cooks") and I started cooking some of the recipes that she posted. That summer, my parents came up for a visit and I made this cake a day or two before they left. It was delicious. And I hadn't thought about it since. Until this year. Like I said, I know Ryan was talking about it and I think my mom mentioned it so I made it today. My mom and I went and got everything we needed. I don't think I even put the fruit on it when I made it the first time. I don't know... itsbeensooooolongagooooo.uuuuugh.

Back-to-Today Story:
Anyway, I remember I didn't make the full recipe. And it was a pain in the ass to convert it again. So... for the record and for my sanity, I'll give you the conversion for a half recipe. And for your curiosity, here's the link to the original recipe posted on TPW. Because I live in the real world, I do not (nor does my mom) possess commercial baking pans at 17x12.5" or piping bags with star tips. I used a 9X13" pan and a gallon sized zippy baggie for the icing.


AAAAaaaaand *headdesk* about the stripes. Don't get it? Shame on you!


In the process of making the icing, I think I may have killed the hand mixer that my mother has had since who-knows-when that is surely older than I am. It's avocado green if that gives you any indication. For some reason, my cake batter didn't turn out as thick but I was using a hand mixer, not a stand mixer. Who knows. It should taste just fine though. But if someone ends up face down, totally not my fault.


So here's a converted/half recipe for Barefoot Contessa's Fourth of July cake on The Pioneer Woman Cooks.



FOR THE CAKE:
1 stick + 1 Tbsp Unsalted Butter
1.5 cups Sugar
3 whole Eggs
1/2 cup Sour Cream (Not Low Fat)
3/4 teaspoon Vanilla
1.5 cups Flour, Sifted
2 Tbsp + 2 tsp Cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon Kosher Salt (Use just under half Teaspoon Regular Salt If Kosher Salt Is Not Available)
1 teaspoon Baking Soda

FROSTING
12 ounces pound Cream Cheese (1.5 - 8oz. Packages, Not Low Fat)
1/2 pound Unsalted Butter (2 Sticks)
3 1/4 C Powdered Sugar
3/4 teaspoon Vanilla
1 pint Blueberries
2 pints Raspberries (Wash And Pat Dry)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and flour a 9x13 pan.

In a mixing bowl, mix unsalted butter and sugar together on high until light and fluffy, about a minute or so. Add eggs, two at a time. Mix after each addition. Add sour cream and vanilla.

In a separate bowl, mix together flour, cornstarch, kosher salt and baking soda. Turn mixer to low and gradually add flour mixture to butter/sugar mixture, one scoop at a time. Mix after every addition. Keep adding the flour mixture, mix until just combined. Do not overmix!

Pour the thick cake batter into the pan. (It’s much thicker than regular cake batters.) With a knife or offset spatula, spread the cake batter evenly over the pan. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.


To make the cream cheese frosting, in a mixing bowl, add cream cheese and butter. Whip to combine. Add powdered sugar and vanilla. Mix until thoroughly combined, scraping the sides once during mixing.

Put about 1/2 the frosting on the cake. Mark off the area of the stars with a toothpick. Prepare a pastry bag with a large star tip and fill up to 2/3 with icing. Fold down both corners to keep icing from splurging out the top. Gripping the folded-down end tightly under fingertips and start squeezing two lines of frosting at the bottom of the cake. Make two rows of raspberries on the cake, then add another two lines of frosting.
Keep repeating: two lines of frosting, two lines of raspberries, two lines of frosting, etc.

Fill the square in the corner with a nice layer of blueberries. With the star tip, squeeze little dollops of frosting all over the blueberries. Variation: Simply frost the cake with all the icing and sprinkle raspberries and blueberries randomly and generously all over the cake.