Challenges

I have been thinking lately about dedicating a blog or possibly a vlog about depression or being so pessimistic. Maybe even include some morbid junk to liven things up a bit.

This week has been super challenging and I cannot fathom why. I have some good hunches but I am not an optimistic person to begin with so I don't know if those would actually be valid. One thing is for sure, I miss my family terribly. It is completely tragic that the area formerly known as out hometown is such a lack-luster area or I am sure we would move back. I know our marriage would survive it at this point. However, this is not what I wanted to talk about.

I have been having daily headaches. That's all they are, are headaches. They aren't debilitating or nauseating, so I know it isn't a migraine, but the sure are annoying. Maybe it is a fluctuation in my brain chemicals or hormones. Who knows? I sure have been terribly low this week. I passed over a train track yesterday at the same point the train was passing me in the underpass. I thought that would have been awfully convenient. It is very difficult to accept all of this. These are the lowest points I have ever been. My doctor has said there would be days like this, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Today was a tad better though. I didn't have to force myself to smile today. I was actually pretty chipper.

Another thought... Ryan asked me if I was still planning on running/walking my 5k this weekend - The Color Run. I signed up for it as soon as the Dallas date had opened registration. I had been planning on doing this for at least a year. I will be pushing through my anxiety and depression to do this. I dedicated it to my dear aunt who is battling cancer. Hell, if she can do what she is doing, I am going to battle too. For her. For my mind.

I picked up my race packet and bib this evening. I even got a few other things. As well. Ivy came into the store with me and saw someone donning the head of a unicorn costume. She needed a picture with the unicorn. Whatever Lola wants, I guess. Oh and the shirt I was wearing had unicorns on it too.

Today was a better day.