I cannot figure out what may have brought this on, but I am experiencing another mood swing down. Teeth clenched and scowling. I woke up like this. I would have thought that taking a half day and being away from work would benefit my brain, but no.
Because it is just sitting there in my brain, I am going to get this out there. I am not exceptional at anything. I'm okay at things, but not extremely talented. I live in the real world, okay? I have realistic expectations of myself. I've said that if I had tried harder, I would be taller. What am I good at? Mediocrity. I feel bad about this. I tend to make a joke out of it, but I really do wish that I had been really great at something. Dance? Flute? Cooking? Sewing?
I want to run. I'm stuck in this rut of feeling lack of motivation. And I feel ashamed that I am placing the blame on my mental instability. There are days that I want to just stay in bed. For months. However I know that if I actually got off my lazy, unmotivated, depressed ass, it just may help my brain. Is this to be my motivation? Run for my sanity? It certainly couldn't hurt.
Should I plow into the running scene with my mediocre gusto?
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