A Stupid Story About a Dang Brush

We are on vacation visiting family again for the next two weeks. Hopefully there will be nothing to extend our vacation another week. We will be returning to the world of work. Yikes. I am so not ready for that! I just got myself depressed. In lieu of a menu plan because we don't really plan on cooking, I'm giving you a ridiculous story. Hey, at least I mention food?

I was probably seven - I know this because we were living in the "white house" (appropriately named because the house was *I shudder* white) across from my elementary school. I was given a blue or purple or dark magenta Dollar Store basket and there was a brush and comb in it.

That is my first memory of The Brush. It was one of those awesome items that you earned from the cereal boxes in the 80s. You know, you bought so many boxes of said cereal, sent in UPC codes, and the order form and you got awesome stuff in the mail! This was a set from Rice Crispies. Snap, Crackle, and Pop were on the handles of both the comb and The Brush.

 Those crazy characters were always up to no good, making sure my cereal made noises and spoke to me. Oh the horror!

The 80s was when it was happening! You could get a lot of awesome things in the mail because you ate cereal religiously. Bowls, toys, cups, spoons, brushes. And the prizes in the boxes themselves were pretty cool too! Christmas ornaments, miniature dolls, plastic spoons, just to name a few that I remember .

I also had an equally awesome Dig'em The Frog cereal spoon. I wish I still had that spoon. Just sayin'.

Through the years, the screen printed characters wore off of the set and the comb was lost. I held on to The Brush though. It is the perfect shape. The black bristles stand at the perfect angle and the perfect curve for my scalp and are not too sharp nor are they too dull. When I brush my hair, the bristles massage and scratch my head to the point of pleasurable chills. It smooths my fine, and oddly wiry, straight hair to the perfect sheen. Oh yes, The Brush also helps my hair to shine. The white grip is a simple pinch for your index finger and thumb and weighs as it should. It is not a heavy brush, nor is it one of those airy brushes with holes between the bristles. There is no ergonomic, rubber grip handle. It is simply the perfect, sturdy, brush.

Horribly, I know the date so well. The date I last used it, and the date it went missing. June 6th, I used The Brush in the morning, as per my usual routine. I set it aside, not packing it for our upcoming vacation to visit family the following day. I planned to use it the next morning because you don't want to mess with a girl and her routine.

The morning of June 7th, we were finishing packing and getting ready to go. I went to start my routine and noticed an absence of white. I tore a lot of things apart trying to find The Brush. I looked in the bags, I looked on my dresser and vanity. I looked in the closet and living room. I looked in Ivy's room and relentlessly questioned her. I knew she picked it up and played with it and put it somewhere, which is a normal thing for her but she denied knowing where The Brush was and that she hadn't played with it.

After being scolded for worrying "over a brush", we finished packing and left for our vacation. I spent every day just throwing my hair into haphazard ponytails, topknots and buns. I looked frazzled. I just could not smooth my hair perfectly. I am a tragic blend of type-a personality with a twist of subtle OCD and a healthy dose of perfectionism.

Three weeks of vacation without The Brush was aggravating! I have tried several times to substitute The Brush so I could have a spare for just in case, but nothing has ever replicated it. New brushes with similar black plastic bristles are too stiff and are pointed at odd angles and don't curve against my head. The bristles are also too new and sharp and hurt my scalp. Expensive, natural, boar bristle brushes are too soft to penetrate my thin hair to drag so hypnotically across my scalp - they are just too soft! Paddle brushes and round brushes are great of detangling my hair, however are not suitable for finishing and smoothing my hair as they tend to separate my hair into clusters and cannot "grab" my hair to pull it into the slick, smooth finish that I agonize over on a somewhat daily basis. I have only lost The Brush once before. I went to visit family for an event and ended up leaving it behind. My mother-in-law promptly shipped The Brush back to me.

Once we returned home from our vacation, it was time to start packing everything for the move into our house. One room at a time, one box, one bag at a time and The Brush never showed up. One day, I was packing up our bedroom closet. All the clothes that were hanging had been brought to the house and we were working on the items on the closet floor. I moved our fire safe box and there it was! The Brush was wedged between the wall and the fire safe. I just wonder how it got there, IVY.

Don't ever come between a girl and her oldest, most trusted beauty tool.

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