I took a hiatus from blogging because of schedule and time
adjustments (went back to work and dealing with the house purchase). Then I got
sick which was nothing in itself, but it added stress. Also, there was work
stress. Then a couple weeks flew by and turned into months of not really
posting any content anywhere.
I got comfortable being off the grid. I was in the moment. I
liked living in the present, not behind the lens or in the glow of a screen. I
kept going to post, but it felt meaningless. Who wants to read my purposeless
ramblings? No one, that's who. So I stayed quiet. I also lost interest. Getting back online, I
hesitate.
I hesitate because it isnt important enough or helpful to the
world. I hesitate because being mostly silent on the internet is a hard habit
to break, though not unwelcome. I hesitate because once it is out there, it is
out there forever. I hesitate because of how it might be interpreted - as a
pity-seeking, attention-begging, drama-llama cry for help. I hesitate because
someone somewhere else has it worse than me
how-dare-I-even-mention-my-problems. I hesitate because noone wants to read
that. I hesitate because that is all there is.
I would retreat from it all. Shut it all down. Never look back. Return to how things were. To The Before. But it is how I stay connected with family. It is how I stay connected with friends. It is how I stay connected to reality. And right now, I feel as though i am pulling back from reality. I can sense my Self wanting to retreat into the back corners of my mind.
I would retreat from it all. Shut it all down. Never look back. Return to how things were. To The Before. But it is how I stay connected with family. It is how I stay connected with friends. It is how I stay connected to reality. And right now, I feel as though i am pulling back from reality. I can sense my Self wanting to retreat into the back corners of my mind.
I mentally took a slight nosedive. I felt worse every day. So I
chatted it up with my doctor and we increased my meds. Nature of the beast, I
assume. I believe I have finally adjusted. I'm certainly not feeling
disinterested in something that kept me occupied. I am feeling motivated. I
want to do things, start projects, get back out there. So maybe I will.
Menu Plan Monday
Sunday - Seared pork loin & mashed potatoes
Monday - Leftovers
Tuesday - Black bean and chicken enchilada casserole (Pinterest)
Wednesday - Leftovers
Thursday - Pizza
Friday - Leftovers
Saturday - Unsure
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